Monday, March 24, 2008

UNTITLED

I can't even stand to look at my ticker.

This waiting past the due date business is sheer agony. Mental and physical.

Every night when I go to sleep I think: this could be my last baby-free night, try to get as much sleep as possible, you may not sleep for another 18 years.

Then alas, the next night comes.

This has been such an emotionally draining week with the death of my grandfather followed by the shiva. I have been pretty low-key during the whole pregnancy... I didn't really talk about it much, it was just something that was happening inside my body. This week with all the visitors around I have had so many people touch me and give me advice that I am about to go batty.

If one more person tells me how great I look for being past my due date (I feel like shit, quite frankly), or give me advice on how to bring on labour I may throttle him or her. (Oh, and to the one person who told me about her full episiotomy- fuck you.)

I've tried nipple stimulation, we've had plenty of sex, we've walked around the block several times in bitter cold weather, I have worked like a maniac in the kitchen, and have nested so much that birds are about to move in.

Oh ya, and I've tried talking very nicely to the little guy pleading with him to come out. And it appears that he isn't listening to his mama. So tell me, why would he listen to a strange who is bending down to talk him into coming out of my belly?!

Ya... I'm a little bit at the end of my rope.

The problem is that I don't really want to be induced, so I'm left in a bit of a catch-22. I have an OB appointment today. I'm interested to see if there is any action down there. Will keep you posted of course.

Just to bring this down a notch: Thank you so much for all your wishes on my grandfather's death. It means so much to me to read your comments and to have your support. You guys are all amazing.

14 comments:

angela said...

My daughter was due July 29th and was born August 9th. I'd had a stress test at 41 weeks, 3 days before she was born, and she'd failed it. She had enough fluid around her so they weren't sure why she'd failed it, so they decided to induce me on August 8th. I tolerated labor pretty well, drug-free, until they discovered that my super strong contractions weren't dilating me past 6 cm. One epidural later, baby's heart rate became even more erratic than it'd been all day and they decided to do a C-section on me. This was after 24 hours of natural labor.

Baby was born with her cord wrapped fairly tightly around her neck. I'm really thankful for the way she was born because I'd hate to think that she could have suffered a permanent birth injury from being born vaginally. She came out screaming and healthy and hasn't had so much as a cold in her seven months of life. It wasn't my ideal birth but at some point I had to tell myself that her health (and mine) was more important than how I wanted her to come into the world.

Wishing you a wonderful, peaceful birth, and a healthy son and mommy.

Caro said...

So sorry about your grandfather and hope that your waiting is over soon.

Heather said...

I'm so excited for you!! I'm sure you've heard this before but he will come when he's ready, not necessarily when you are ready.

I hope the two time tables meet up pretty quickly. :-)

Kristen said...

You just have a really comfy uterus, it seems. Come on out little man, we are all eager to meet you!

My Reality said...

You mean you are STILL pregnant?

:)

mkv said...

Oh goodness...I have 4 weeks left and I'm so over this. I can't even imagine how you feel. Thinking of you and hoping for good news today!

Annalien said...

I am sure you are SO ready to meet this little guy :-). I was induced at 38 weeks with my second baby (because he was getting so big) and it was not too bad. It took 23 hours in total, but I was only in active labour for about 6 hours. Wishing you all the best!

sariel & shlomit said...

hey you!!
i spent the whole weekend (in nyc!!) checking up on you...so i can ONLY IMAGINE how you must be feeling!
offering no advice, but thinking of you...
peace
shlomit

Aurelia said...

I simply can't stand being overdue, so I can relate, and I know you don;t want to be induced...but oh lord at some point....

It won't take much I bet actually. A few pills at most, or breaking your water, so maybe you can get the natural birth and avoid major interventions.

Now post an update!

robin said...

I needed to read this today: I am in exactly the same position as you -- a day shy of 41 weeks -- and am becoming totally unglued. No matter how well-meaning, other people's calls and advice and stories just don't alleviate the frustration... it's so hard not to obsess. Thanks for your honesty. Here's to both of us going into labor naturally (and soon) and delivering with grace and aplomb.

nutsinmay said...

Come on, little guy. Come out and say hello. Just because Inside Mama is the nicest place on earth, doesn't mean you can stay in there forever.

Hoping you get a happy, easy, healthy labour VERY SOON.

Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

who can blame him?! It's pretty darn cold up where you live. If I were him I'd wait till at least May, maybe end of April - like say, oh, April 18th!

F2

Gil said...

Still here, still watching, still hoping for news. Updates girl! Heavens alive, give us updates!

I'm hoping that whenever it happens, it's a wonderful, beautiful experience for you and yours. Sending you lots of good wishes and I'm checking back frequently...

Angie said...

Wondering how your appt. went. Hope all is well.