Tuesday, April 22, 2008


There aren't enough ways to thank you guys for your comments, support and suggestions following my last post.

As promised, your compensation for being so wonderful follows below.

First off, the baby's room (formerly known as the little room. I STILL can't believe it's for a real live baby!)

And here is a random selection of Sacha, currently known by my husband as "Super Pooper":

I'm biased and all, but I think he's pretty delish. If you can tear your eyes away from the little guy, I just wanted to respond to some of your suggestions...
1- As you can see in the picture above, I DO have a sling, and YES, it is marvelous. As I type this Sacha is breathing hot air down my cleavage in a wonderfully restful nap. (While I love the sling, wearing it for him to nap means that I can't nap while he is. But I can blog...)
2- Penis has been pointed down and diaper leakage has abated. Why was it pointed up to begin with, you may wonder? Because my husband likes his pointed up, and well, he assumed the baby would too! OY!
3- Yesterday I moved to size 1 diapers. Also with much success. It seems funny because they are SO BIG on Sacha, but they are doing the trick. It's hard to believe that he has already grown out of something!
4- I had purchased The Happiest Baby on the Block prior to Sacha's birth, but didn't get the chance to read it. I have, however, read it now. You are all right, Dr. Karp is a genius. I have mastered most of the 5 S's, and can calm Sacha easily. I find that getting him from calm to sleep a bit more difficult.
5- Also, after reading the book I realize that Sacha isn't really that fussy. It's perhaps more that I am a little low on patience. I am trying to adapt...
6- About my husband... Dawn made a wonderful point about leaving the baby with him for an extended period of time. I would have no problem doing that, and neither would he. The only issue is that until June he is working 12 hour days, 7 days a week, and will not have a day off. That's just the way the cookie crumbles in our family-run business, and there is little either of us can do about it. But I still reserve the right to complain!!
Ok, I'm off to try to get a bit of rest. I will post more on how life changes after baby when I have a moment. And also- the birth story will be up one of these days. (Hopefully before March 2009!)

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Or: Stuff That May or May Not be of Interest to You.

I don't know... do you want to hear about Sacha? How cute and delicious he is? How when he "smiles" he has a dimple that matches mine, and it can make your heart melt?

Or would you prefer to hear about how deluded I was about being a mother because I was so blinded by wanting a child that I never in my wildest imagination thought that being mommy to an infant would be so overwhelming?

Or how about the fact that my husband went back to work when Sacha was 5 days old, leaving me to sit in the NICU by myself? How he gets to go off and be normal everyday, thinking it's easy to parent because: look the baby fell asleep after I rocked him for 15 minutes- your days can't be that hard! How our relationship will never be the same, and although I knew it wouldn't, I could not have imagined how.

Or how I'm not 100% certain that paragraph 1 above makes up for paragraphs 2 and 3.

I'll let you decide what you want me to blog about, and I'll post about it next time.

In the meantime, I have some questions for some of you who are currently in the infant rearing stage. (I really have to get out and join a "group" or something. Because I don't have anyone around me with a baby. But I am scared shitless of interacting with run of the mill fertiles, you know?)

Ok, so...

1. What kind of diapers are you using? Cuz Sacha seriously seems to leak through any type we have tried so far. Is it a boy thing? He gets wet spots on the back of all his clothes because his penis (pointing up) pees out of the top front of the diaper and then runs along to the back. Or am I just a horrible diaper-putter-oner?

2. What do you do with a child who is dry, fed, and being rocked, but still is crying? At these times I find myself going batty. And then I start crying. And then no one is doing anyone any good over here.

3. Also- being alone all day at home- that I'm used to from my past 4 years of self-employment. But being at home with an infant who is in constant need of you? Diaper, feed, play, rock to sleep, repeat. I have to eat, I have to shower, I have to do load after load of poopy laundry, I have to do a bit of work (I have to blog...). What is with this notion of "sleep when the baby is sleeping"? How am I supposed to do that??!!

Ach... is anyone still reading anyways?

If you are, then remember your homework- topic to write about from first part of post, and answers to my questions from second part of post.

Next time you may be rewarded with yummy pics. And pics of the baby room which I never posted.

Monday, April 07, 2008


We got discharged from the NICU on Friday afternoon, and Sacha made his second trip home from the hospital. He was up close to his birth weight and nice and rosy looking. The three days there were the hardest of my life so far. My heart goes out to all of you who have had extended stays in the NICU. I can't even begin to imagine.

On Sunday we returned for a weight check and bili count. Sacha had lost a bit of weight, but the pediatrician was not concerned as I have been exclusively breastfeeding him. The doctor looked at his colour, thought he looked terrific and decided there was no need to prick the baby for his blood. We were sent home with a clean bill of health (and an order to see our pediatrician in a couple of days time for a weight check.)

So far so good. I have met with a Lactation Consultant (who I love!) to ensure that I am feeding Sacha properly. I wasn't so concerned with his feeding immediately post-partum, but when he became jaundiced I couldn't help but think that it was my fault, that I wasn't feeding him well. The LC told me that as long as he was peeing often (6+ wet diapers a day) and gaining weight then I was doing my job. Let me tell you, now that he is well, my little boy pees and poos like a pro.

Tomorrow we are off to the pedi for his weight check, and then I will know for sure how he is doing.

Tomorrow in the late afternoon we are also having his bris. His first Jewish milestone.

This is by far the hardest thing that I have ever done. But every time I look into my little son's eyes I fall in love a million times over.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


Is the knowledge you gain from others' experiences.

When Sacha was admitted to the NICU this afternoon I knew what to expect. It's not knowledge that I wanted to ever have (much like all the endless details about TTC), but today I was glad I was able to remain on two feet as we wheeled our little guy into perhaps the beeping-est room in the hospital.

It's nothing "serious", in terms of the simple I can never compare what we are going through to the endless realities I have read about from you guys. But I think that I was able to hold it together because I knew what to expect.

It's quite simple, really. Sacha was jaundiced, lost too much of his birth weight, wasn't peeing or pooping.

For the past 11 hours he has been under the lamps, and been having an IV infusion. When we left tonight he was already looking somewhat better and his bili levels had dropped. And he made a couple of pees.

I was afraid it was because of my breastfeeding, but it turns out that all the symptoms are just snowball effects of the jaundice.

It was terribly difficult to leave the hospital tonight with an empty car seat. And now I am sitting here being sad about not being up with my little bundle all night walking the hallway. Hopefully we will have him back where he belongs tomorrow.

So ya. He is going to be ok. We are going to be ok. I just wanted to again thank this community.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


S.acha M.atias was born on Saturday, March 29 at 6.33pm weighing 7lb 7oz and measuring 20inches. He is named after The C's maternal granfather Silverio and my maternal grandfather Melvin. It is our honour to honour their memories.

As you can see, he's perfect. We are thrilled, but we are facing some challenges.

My birthing story isn't the one I had thought I would have, but it is mine nonetheless, and I am proud of myself, my husband and our little guy. And I will forever worship the ground my doula** and her tireless student walk on.

I have started on the birth story, but wanted to let you all know the great news as soon as I could. Thanks for all the wishes so far-they sure are making today alot easier.

* Except for Serenity, Oro, Dawn, Kate, Artblog and Somewhat Ordinary's (pwp) guys. (OMG we all had boys, I just realized!!) Congrats to all you fine women.

** Here she is, written up in the newspaper!