Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Guess what? Today is NOT SO BAD. Yay for the NOT SO BAD day! In a large part due to you guys. What would I do without you? You are all such awesome, sensitive women who know just what to say when. This post will contain no anger. I know it's my bog and I can feel what I want on it. But still. Angry all the time? Not so cool for me. (You guys wanna be angry all the time, that I can support. Go right ahead. Me? I need a break from the anger.)

As the title says I had a trip to wonderful homeopath today. Have I told you about her? She is such a sweet woman. I see for for my overall heath, not exclusively for IF. I prefer to take the more natural route when it comes to health, and my hopeopath is helping me do that. I take a variety of remedies that have to do with accute things like nosebleeds, headaches, motion sickness. And some others that are more related to personality like being overwhelmed, being angry, a tendancey towards excess (this remedy is nicknames the "sex, drugs and rock and roll remedy, which I think is a hoot!). I have to say that since I have started seeing her, I have felt great. (Except for last week. Which made my reactions all the weirder, because really, I have been doing so well!) I have been calm, less stressed, not overwhelemed with my work (when I have been dealing with the most work since starting my own business.) It really has been an amazing experience for me to date. So amazing, that you can probably see why I was disappointed when the homeopathic provera didn't "work". Really not the end of the world.... just interesting.
Today she asked how I was feeling, like she always does, cause that's what it's all about. I told how good things had been until last week (you know the story!!), and that in general I'm finding all this not being able to get pregnant really weighing me down. To which she said that she could totally see how that could be. And she also proceeded to tell me that (how sahl I put this...) maybe my body isn't spiritually ready to carry a baby. (Ok, you can all close your gaping mouths and wipe the sprayed beverages off your monitors.) She also told me that I may not agree (umm, hell no!) and that's the way that she thinks about things. I'm not so sure here people, but is this on par with "just relax"? It's not exactly that, but kinda, no?
The problem with such a statement in twofold for me. The first part of the problem is a no-brainer: teenagers get pregnant. I can't believe that they are spiritually ready. Crackwhores also get pregnant. Umm, ditto.
Second of all: I think that I am ready. I fully admit and am aware that when I went off the pill over a year ago I was not ready. My husband's biological clock was ticking, and I knew that we would be in for a rough ride, so I was taking the bull by the horns, knowing that I wouldn't conceive right away anyways. But now? NOW I AM READY. Like I said in the previous paragraphs: I have been feeling good. Probably the best I can remember in my adult life. I have been eating well, taking care of myself, and all that other stuff. I have. I am not making this up. I am not saying all this in order to convince myself. It's the truth. I feel psychologically, emotionally and physically prepared to carry a baby and be a mother. Hello, spirit of baby! I am ready for you.
I do strongly believe that the healthier you are in all aspects of your life, the better environment you are giving the baby you conceive. I can intellectualize that. But the reason that I am not conceiving is due to the fact that I am not ovulating (and maybe, if by chance I am, that my husband's boys are not up to snuff, but I am not harping on that today.) And the reason that I am not ovulating does not have to do with the fact that I am not healthy (in an excercizing, eating well, not being stressed way). Becasue in all those ways, I am healthy. So I am kind of having a hard time dealing with the possibility that I am not pregnant becasue I am not spiritually ready.
I didn't really respond to my homeopath when she put that on the table. I wasn't sure what to say. I like her so much, and I truly believe that she meant no harm in what she was saying to me, because she truly believes it. I don't think that she has had any other patients battle with IF the way that I am facing it. And therefore she hasn't had to deal with things you should and shouldn't say, and how you should put things, when talking to an IF. So I can't be angry with her (and I'm not! This is not an angry post!). I'm just wondering what I should do. Should I email her info and links about what to say to an infertile friend? Should I just let it be knowing that I don't really understand why she told me that my body has to be spiritually ready, when in fact I feel that I have never been more ready for anything in my life?
She has at no point told me that I shouldn't take provera or clomid. She does not make me feel foolish for choosing a traditional route for dealing with my IF. She has really helped me acheive great balance and wellness in all other aspects of my life. But let's face it, she can't preform IUI or IVF! I have to see a medical doctor for this. Because it seems like it ain't gonna happen any other way....
So my question remains: what to speak up about in this instance? Please friends, lend me a bit of advice on this front. (But please don't let your opinions on homeopathy dictate your reply. This is not really about whether or not you think homeopathy "works" or not...)

Oh! just realized that the title of the post indicated that I would be sharing other tidbits of information. I think I've written enough, and will save them for another day!


My Reality said...

I don't even know where to begin on this one. I don't have any problems with any kind of alternative treatment, be it accupuncture, homeopathy etc. It really sounds to me like that was kind of a "just relax" statement. I have been ready for a baby for a long time, our bodies have not cooperated. I agree with you, there are lots of people who can get pregnant who aren't "spiritually ready" and it doesn't seem to act as birth control for them. I don't even know how I would approach the subject with her, but I do wish you luck with it.

I am glad you were able to figure out where I was trying to send you with the previous link. That site has lots of info!

Jena said...

Hello, I just found your blog and I certainly understand what you're going through - we've been trying since June 2004.

If the homeopath is someone that you're going to see again, then yes, I think you should say something. It only seems right to let her know that what she said was hurtful and insensitive.

lunarmagic said...

Actually it sounds more like those people who say, "It's all in god's plan" - ie, their god doesn't want me to have a baby right now? That I'm not ready?

I really, really don't know what I'd say in that instance.

But - yay, someone whose husband's clock was ticking first. :) That was my situation. People tend to look at me oddly because it's normally the woman who goes baby-crazy first.

flygirl said...

Write it off as ignorance and let it go. We gotta let these things roll off us or we'll drive ourselves crazy.

My homeopath/acupuncturist told me that I should not be so sad and that I shouldn't assume there's a problem until 3 years of trying. It was all I could do to not slap her silly.

TeamWinks said...

I agree with my reality...sounds like a just relax situation. I think there are so many opinions out there, but you need to trust your gut instinct on this one!

Heather said...

It does sound like a "just relax" kind of statement.

Those kinds of statements bother me so I would consider saying something - but say it in passing. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it because even though for me it is, it isn't for the person who said it. If that makes any sense?

If it isn't something that really bothers you then I would leave it alone unless she says something else.

Just my nickels worth, your mileage may vary...

Erin said...

I think I'd give her the first one free. If she made another comment about it, I might gently have a talk or e-mail her a list of things that are less-than-sensitive to say to an infertile. And telling you that your body isn't "spiritually ready" would certainly fall on that list.

I think homeopathy is a great way to go about improving your overall health.

~r said...

I'd probably let it go unless it became a common theme. If it came up again, I might say something.

And really, I'd like to pass a law than every untrained person who feels the need to give an opinion on the cause of infertility is required to also give a foolproof cure... and anyone without a 'cure' that actually works should be permanently banned from commenting on that subject again. Ever.

I should write my congressman.

And I'm glad you're having a not-so-bad day!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I agree with the others. I would let it go unless it comes up again. I hate it when people say things like that!

ellie said...

I kind of let it roll off my back. I have a acupuncturist who told me that if I adopt I'll get pg. I think it is more that they mean well and just don't know better. Doesn't bother me much-- the facialist I use to go to asks me if I am pg yet every time she sees me- that bothered me so much I just stopped going. Not much help I know- I guess for me I just weigh in how much I like them and how deeply what they say bothers me-- and if I can get over it then I let it slide.