Saturday, May 26, 2007

MEL'S BAITED BREATH, AND SOME OTHER STUFF

Really, Mel, I can't get the image of your "baited breath" out of my head. I keep picturing your mouth wide open with a bunch of worms hanging out, and a jolly fisherman dressed in a million-pocketed fishing vest and T.illy hat reaching in for the one that will catch dinner. And I as I write this, I can only imagine the stench of said bait. Ew, I know. It's my fault for mentioning it in the first place.

Apparently, though, at least one person is anxiously waiting for a cycle update. And I, the very thoughtful blogger, am thrilled to oblige.

Yesterday's wanding showed 4 dominant follicles in the 16-19mm range. So yay, I was sent home with my hCG shot. The nurse proclaimed the cycle "picture perfect", and I dang well hope that it continues to be. IUI is tomorrow morning. Of course, I am not the ball of nerves that I was last time. I am now "experienced"- more experienced than I ever wanted to be, unfortunately. But this is what life is dealing to me, and I will take it one step at a time.

One beef I do have is the terrible timing of my "beta days". (I put that in quotes because thus far my clinic has not used betas to determine if I am pregnant or not. I am usually sent off with a "call us if you get a positive HPT, or when your cycle starts".) So ya. Let's review my track record thus far:

  • Inj cycle 2: completely unremarkable (let's throw this cycle out, I am trying to make a point here!)
  • Inj cycle 1: December 23 (and the day we set out to visit/celebrate Christmas with The C's family).
  • Inj cycle 3/IUI: 14dpo is the day before Mother's Day. (If AF wouldn't have arrived early I most certainly would have tested on "that" day.)
  • Inj 4/IUI (current cycle): 14 dpo is the day of the big bash we are throwing for my dad's 60th birthday. We are talking about a BIG party. With lots of people (people who will invariably ask when we are going to have kids.) One where it will not be appropriate to sit and cry. You get the picture. (Saving grace: we are preparing an awesome white peach sangria.)

WHY does this happen to me?? It's actually pretty bizarre. I'm not asking for pity or anything, I'm just raising this very weird point. It's not enough to have my soul crushed after each cycle, but it has to coincide with some significant exterior event.

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An IRL friend who reads from time to time mentioned to me that my last post was "dry". I pointed out that it was probably because I didn't swear even once. Not one fuck, shit, or even a screw that or an oh man. I also realized how technical it was, with a great lack of personality. As someone who has known me for more than half my life, I can see how she would have found it "not me". She does realize, of course, that this is a place primarily about my IF treatment. But in hearing her comment (which I am certainly not upset about, I actually find her observation interesting), I realized that perhaps I show very little of "who I am" other than how I am in relation to my IF.

Here's a small glimpse: Anyone who spends more than a few minutes talking to me realizes that my verbiage is very, um, colourful. And my voice is loud. And my arms fly with lots of expression. And that's just when I am asking if someone wants to join me for a coffee. You should see me when I am passionate about something! My father often inquires why I am talking so angrily, when in fact it is just obscenely loud. On innumerable occasions friends have been mortified when they realize an entire section of a restaurant where we are sitting is hushed and is listening to the sex advice (or some other inappropriate topic) that I am talking about freely.

But like I said, this is what you will realize within minutes of becoming my acquaintance. Anything else you want to know?? Just ask! (And allow me to fill my 2ww.)

13 comments:

sariel & shlomit said...

Well, that's more like it, Ms. C!!!!! I see you mentioned the whole section of a 'restaurant' being hushed. listening with 'baited breath' (ahahaha!!) to your conversation, when it could be ANYWHERE!! Like, say, a synagogue on a friday evening? or sitting in the seats during a popular weight loss program meeting? hmmmmmm....

to know you is to love you, my friend!!

as for the poor timing of betas...yah, that just fucking sucks..i can relate...and in my naivete i used to hope/think those were great signs (as in, wouldn't it be amazing to get a positive on my dad's birthday?!)....good luck with the hcg and iui...sorry you're getting to be a pro...

love you!!!!!
peace
shlomit

TeamWinks said...

Ha, I didn't even notice. Every now and then we have to throw in a technical update before returning to our regularly scheduled programming. It's just one of those things.

I can just see you there with your arms moving as fast as your lips. Love it!!!

Lut C. said...

Good luck with the cycle. :-)

Those beta days are hardly ever very welcome, though special occasions make it worse. I delayed my beta test last time till after one of those.

Erin said...

I'm pretty much the opposite--I only swear when I get really, really worked up about something. But it's pretty impressive when I do (or so I've been told)!

Your beta timing could definitely stand some improvement. Hopefully this will be the last one, and you can celebrate by NOT being able to have sangria!

Natalie said...

I have to giggle at the thought of an entire restauraunt listening to you. Unfortunately my husband shushes me quite frequently. When I get going I can get very, err, passionate about topics.

Sorry about the bad timing of testing. I absolutely HATE it when that happens. A small part of me thinks, "But if it's good news, it'll be GREAT!" but it's never good news. :/

decemberbaby said...

Your clinic doesn't do betas? I'd be banging down their door for one every single cycle. You can get your period and still have a low-positive beta, and that would be important information to have.

*gets off soapbox*

Well, if I'm ever in a restaurant where that silence happens, I'll walk over to introduce myself. Of course, I'm hoping that you'll be instantly recognizable by your big pregnant belly... FOUR eggs? Dayum, woman, this could be it!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Good luck with this cycle!

I hate poor timed betas. I have a new policy of telling my clinic that I am only available for betas on Fridays so that I have the weekend to mourn. How's that for a positive attitude?

Samantha said...

Swear away! I'm sure it feels especially satisfying about poorly timed betas. My beta after IVF #2 was the first week on my new job, not so great... but actually I've been pretty lucky.

Share with us a really funny conversation story.

My Reality said...

Hmmm, you are like me! Loud, talks about anthing and arm gestures. And I must not forget the swearing part, my husband is constantly getting on me about my potty mouth!

I hope your 4 follies behave this cycle.

Carrie said...

You're beta timings have been hard. Like its not hard enough anyway.
Of course the one with the positive will be a great day, no matter the date.

I hope you can't even sniff the white peach sangria this time.

Flygirl said...

This is so exciting! Keep us posted!!

Heather said...

Hey Buddy!! Hope this time the beta news is super!

Julie said...

(Delurking)

The external events timing is always so much fun. Mine always seem to be baby showers. Started once while shopping for SIL's shower (the SIL how got pregnant first try), started another time during a co-worker's baby shower (who also got pregnant first try).

Some days I think the universe really is out to get us.