MEL'S BAITED BREATH, AND SOME OTHER STUFF

Really, Mel, I can't get the image of your "baited breath" out of my head. I keep picturing your mouth wide open with a bunch of worms hanging out, and a jolly fisherman dressed in a million-pocketed fishing vest and T.illy hat reaching in for the one that will catch dinner. And I as I write this, I can only imagine the stench of said bait. Ew, I know. It's my fault for mentioning it in the first place.

Apparently, though, at least one person is anxiously waiting for a cycle update. And I, the very thoughtful blogger, am thrilled to oblige.

Yesterday's wanding showed 4 dominant follicles in the 16-19mm range. So yay, I was sent home with my hCG shot. The nurse proclaimed the cycle "picture perfect", and I dang well hope that it continues to be. IUI is tomorrow morning. Of course, I am not the ball of nerves that I was last time. I am now "experienced"- more experienced than I ever wanted to be, unfortunately. But this is what life is dealing to me, and I will take it one step at a time.

One beef I do have is the terrible timing of my "beta days". (I put that in quotes because thus far my clinic has not used betas to determine if I am pregnant or not. I am usually sent off with a "call us if you get a positive HPT, or when your cycle starts".) So ya. Let's review my track record thus far:

• Inj cycle 2: completely unremarkable (let's throw this cycle out, I am trying to make a point here!)
• Inj cycle 1: December 23 (and the day we set out to visit/celebrate Christmas with The C's family).
• Inj cycle 3/IUI: 14dpo is the day before Mother's Day. (If AF wouldn't have arrived early I most certainly would have tested on "that" day.)
• Inj 4/IUI (current cycle): 14 dpo is the day of the big bash we are throwing for my dad's 60th birthday. We are talking about a BIG party. With lots of people (people who will invariably ask when we are going to have kids.) One where it will not be appropriate to sit and cry. You get the picture. (Saving grace: we are preparing an awesome white peach sangria.)
  

WHY does this happen to me?? It's actually pretty bizarre. I'm not asking for pity or anything, I'm just raising this very weird point. It's not enough to have my soul crushed after each cycle, but it has to coincide with some significant exterior event.

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An IRL friend who reads from time to time mentioned to me that my last post was "dry". I pointed out that it was probably because I didn't swear even once. Not one fuck, shit, or even a screw that or an oh man. I also realized how technical it was, with a great lack of personality. As someone who has known me for more than half my life, I can see how she would have found it "not me". She does realize, of course, that this is a place primarily about my IF treatment. But in hearing her comment (which I am certainly not upset about, I actually find her observation interesting), I realized that perhaps I show very little of "who I am" other than how I am in relation to my IF.

Here's a small glimpse: Anyone who spends more than a few minutes talking to me realizes that my verbiage is very, um, colourful. And my voice is loud. And my arms fly with lots of expression. And that's just when I am asking if someone wants to join me for a coffee. You should see me when I am passionate about something! My father often inquires why I am talking so angrily, when in fact it is just obscenely loud. On innumerable occasions friends have been mortified when they realize an entire section of a restaurant where we are sitting is hushed and is listening to the sex advice (or some other inappropriate topic) that I am talking about freely.

But like I said, this is what you will realize within minutes of becoming my acquaintance. Anything else you want to know?? Just ask! (And allow me to fill my 2ww.)