Monday, February 05, 2007

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS

Or hopefully onwards and outwards. (As in my belly. And not because I eat too much ice cream.)

Not much to report in the corner of the world occupied by Ms. C and The C. We have started our next cycle. (And by we, I mean we. Because that half tablet of Clomid that The C eats nightly is proving to have no side effects.) So far I have injested 4 days of 5mg of Fe.mara, and have shot up 2 doses of 25IU of Pur.egon.

Not much of a change from last cycle, just a bit of upping of the doses. Last cycle saw 2.5 mg of Fe.mara for 5 days, and 20IU of Pur.egon for 10 days. Then I triggered on CD16.

To make a long story short, TWBD was pleased as punch with my response to the meds last cycle, but is upping the dosage in order to attempt to shorten the cycle. I am satisfied with this.

When I pushed to see whether or not he would recommend IUI this time round, he told us (told being used very losely as this man still does not speak!) that he doesn't see why we would necessarily need to do it, he thinks that we can do it on our own. When pressed further, the nurse told us that if that's what we really want then of course they would not deny us an IUI. In order to not seem too contrary I asked if we can revisit this around the time of trigger, and the nurse and doctor assured me that yes, we can decide then.

The only thing with this IUI/no IUI thing is that I am getting some opposition from The C. Because the doctor says so, my wonderful husband does not see any reason that we should not try naturally (ie: sex) again this cycle. Look, I understand that most couples do not get pregnant their first cycle trying, so I can forgive the fact that we didn't get pregnant last cycle, and I am trying very hard to not blame it on the fact that we just had sex the old fashioned way after all the effort we went to get me to produce follicles and then to ovulate.

BUT. There are a few issues.

The first is that we are not a normal couple trying to conceive normally and naturally. Oh no, we are pretty much well beyond that! Add that to the fact that it is really tough on me taking all these drugs (as someone who is not ordinarily one who takes medication of any sort). And the fact that the meds do funky shit to my body. And that they cost a boatload of cash. And to the time that it takes to go in for all the monitoring appointments. I am by no means an avid economist, but I do understand the notion of return on investment. I am devoting so much financially, emotionally and physically in this project, that I can't help but want to put in that little extra bit in the end (the IUI) to give us the best chances.

I know the bulk of you agree. We have all been through or are going through this. But the questions remains on how I get The C to understand that I want to give us the best chances possible. That this isn't a game. I am prepping myself for two weeks in order to get ready for his sperm, and I don't want to just shoot in the dark. I know it's not romantic. I gave up on the whole idea of romance making a baby about a year ago. What I don't get is how on earth, after all this time, my husband still believes.

15 comments:

Carol said...

I definitely hear you on wanting to do the IUI to increase your chances - you invest so much already.

I think men are just better at staying positive than we are. J has been so positive and hopeful through every cycle, it's baffling.

Hopefully you can help him realize that doing the IUI isn't about giving up, it's about giving you the best possible chance.

decemberbaby said...

Husbands are incredible. Mine also believes that sex will jsut work now that I'm ovulating.

I think putting it in terms of return on investment might work. If all else fails, act REALLY hormonal this month and then tell him that doing IUI would decrease the number of months he'll have to put up with your insanity ;-)

Good luck this cycle!

~r said...

I cried. A lot.

I think my husband would have agreed to perform an IUI on himself just to make that stop.

The last few months, he was willing to try anything if it would just speed up the process (of conception, not of crying). We had very little financial investment but a lot of emotional invesment in each cycle, and he did get to the point where he wanted the best possible chance so that we weren't wasting our time and emotional health. I just got there before he did.

Good luck!

Watson said...

That's a tough one!

You might want to either be really brutally honest about the emotional toll this is taking on you, bearing the bulk of the treatments as most women do;

strike up a deal (as in, try one more month of sex and if that doesn't work go straight into an IUI next month);

or remind him that you can do the IUI and then also have sex, (if you don't have major count issues) and that way if it works you'll never *really* know for sure which one it was!

And you'll be pregnant so you won't really care either way!

You could also do what I did and just scream and yell and carry on like a wild banshee and, eventually, The C might give in just to make it stop

:-)

sariel & shlomit said...

that's a tough one...i know what you're saying...i'm not going to repeat everyone's great advice here and you and i have already chatted about this...but i do believe it's important that we are on the same page as our partners as much as possible...hopefully the C will see the way...one iui and one regular...good compromise, no? if you think it would help, i'm sure sariel would be open to having a chat about it (although i somehow can't picture that without a good meal and lots of wine!)...
sending only positive vibes your way!
peace
shlomit

My Reality said...

I am dying to know why TWBD can't talk. You have to tell me! I can't take the not knowing anymore.

As for IUI vs. sex, I would have to push towards the IUI for a couple of reasons. The C has an ok sperm count, but it is on the lower side of normal, right? So, if that is the case, I think an IUI could help get them to where they are supposed to go.

I have a thought though. Could The C be resisting the IUI not because he thinks sex will really work but because he doesn't want to be a part of the problem? Know what I am getting at? If you got pregnant with sex, then his boys could swim. If you got pregnant with an IUI, then his boys had help. Could that be a part of it? It is so difficult to figure out men and their logic.

I hope that no matter how the sperm get in there that this cycle works!

TeamWinks said...

I feel like the IUI helps alleviate stress. You know how many sperm there are, where they are being placed, and you can actually breathe. Good old fashioned sex doesn't tell you those things truly. Not to mention that as an infertile sex for the baby making purpose is very stressful.

Have the C go with you to the insemination. Then he would feel a part of the process.

lunarmagic said...

This time around we did sex instead of an IUI. Let me tell you, I was really wishing we hadn't done that. Too much stress. I'll take the IUI thanks.

What is it with husbands and staying eternally positive? My husband is always saying that he's sure I'm pregnant, that it could work any time! And I'm like, it didn't work the last 15 times I ovulated, why should this one be any different?

My husband does seem to get success rates though. My RE quoted us higher success rates on IUI than sex alone (she definitely pushed for IUI), and he saw the wisdom in that. Thank god. I don't want to have to hit him over the head. Or cry. (Isn't that the same thing?)

lucky #2 said...

I always think that too...I don't want to subject my body to more meds than necessary.

If I were you I would demand the IUI. If your DH's sperm is an issue, it is probably more important to make sure that as many sperm as possible actually make it into your uterus. Hell, I thought laying by myself on a cold table listening to classic rock was a very romantic conception! lol

Erin said...

That sounds just like J--when I said that I wanted to go onto birth control pills while we adopt, he asked why we couldn't just "try naturally" (meaning with Metformin and perhaps Clomid/Femara). Oh, ha ha ha! Because I'd like a break from the mindfuck that is TTC while I'm bringing another child into my family, that's why! Because my body needs a break from the drugs I've been pumping into it for the last couple of years, that's why! When we're ready to TTC again, we're moving straight onto IUI/injectibles. One cycle. Then IVF. No more of this "natural trying" crap.

I'm with you on this one, sweetie!

Lut C. said...

It depends on your diagnosis of course, but I have read that in general IUIs are overrated. Probably, the reason is that IUIs are too often prescribed in female factor infertility. In those cases it's actually the medication that impacts success rates most.

Then again, it's a bit aggravating that your husband backpedals on this. You're suffering the brunt of the treatment.

Sarah said...

i just found your blog and i love the title! that's what my OB told me at our preconception visit back in 2002! "don't call me if it doesn't happen right away, it can take a few months!"

i totally relate to your post, my husband maintained the belief that it would happen eventually for years, until the RE told us it was time to move on to IVF. after that we even had to take a year off to work on our marriage and get on the same page. it wasn't until HE finally had good buddies who were expecting before he came around. i hope yours gets with it MUCH quicker. so many men just resist change with all their being.

Flygirl said...

I think that Men have a real tough time empathizing. Why they can't put themselves in our shoes for even a little while is beyond me. I find myself often saying "how would YOU feel if...." But it doesn't really work.

The bottom line is that knowing you'll have an IUI will lessen the stress therefore making the road much smoother and easier on you. That should be more than enough reason.

Tanner said...

I just came across your blog today.

I'm glad that my husband still believes. If he didn't, I don't know how I could get though this month to month. It's been great to have his support and faith.

I wish you the best of luck. I realize what a hard journey this is for you.

TeamWinks said...

I was reading this post to my mother, and she said this:

"Why doesn't she do both. Have sex before the insemination (however long before the doc says you can,) and do the insemination. Hopefully one of them produces the desired result!"