Thursday, September 07, 2006


Have you? I doubt it. My stats certainly suck the big one. But no wonder... the same post has been at the top of the page for, like, two and a half weeks. Hark, friends, I have returned. And I am here to post. (So come visit! Stay a while. Here, have some decaf.)
I've been home for four days, and am trying to get everything back to normal (ie: reading my 183 emails and linstening to my 572 voice mails.) I have gone through all your blogs, and have done my best to catch up on everything that has gone on while I was away. I haven't commented much, but people, I have been reading. I have missed you all, and will be back a-commenting pronto, I promise.
Do any of you want to hear about my trip? Probably not, so I will give you a short round up. The C and I cruised to Ireland, Scotland, Norway, Holland, Belgium and France. The ship was wonderful, and we were absolutely pampered. We ate too much, drank way too much, and most of all spent 14 uninterrupted days with each other. We managed to get some relaxation in, despite the heavy touring schedule. And even though we are so accutely aware that our chances of making a baby the old fashioned way are, like, nil, we had boat loads of amazing, romantic, passionate sex. We reconnected on every level, and I was reminded time and time again why we chose to spend our lives together, and that it were the two of us against the world, the is no doubt that we would prevail. Because together we are awesome. I don;t know if I've ever written this here, but I love my husband so, so much. There is nothing in this world great enough to even begin to help quantify the amount.
Right, right. I've gone all gooey in the brain. (I haven't even sworn yet in this post.)
After the cruise we spent three days in London. Though definately not the most beautiful city in the world, it is certainly one of my favorites to visit and just "be" in. I have travelled alot in my life, and there are few places that I have been able to see myself live in, but London is one of them. (I'm a big city person, no doubt about it.)
My motto in life is to live all you can so that you have no regrets. Believe me, I stick by this very closely. There are a handful of things that I have done in my life that others would cetainly consider regrettable, believe you me. (I will save that post for a time when I have nothing else to write about. That time will hopefully never come.) In all those times my motto has prevailed, and so to date (which is 31 years, 8 months and 12 days of my life,) I harbour no regrets. Except one: that I never lived in London in my 20s. Any of you Lononers out there? You are some fortunate folk. The ship has sailed on my living there, but I love to visit often and pretend that I fit in. (Hey, someone even stoped me on the street to ask me for directions! How's about that!) What does this have to do with anything? (Brain=goo, can't stay on topic...) Oh ya: London provided an excellent finish to our journey.
'Ms. C,' you all are thinking, 'this ain't no travel log! You are supposed to be talking about IF!'
Indeed, 'tis true. So enough about the trip and back to my ranting about my disfunctional ovaries, and The C's fucked up sperm. Below is a summary of the goings on in that area. (In list form of course! I love the list.)
1. Today is CD6. I got my period spontaneously for the first time since going off the pill 13 months ago. Full on, people. A real period. Red bloody stuff, not just some brown yucky spotting. Incredible, really. My previous cycle was only 38 days. I temped till CD 26, and then let it all go becasue I was away. And I have not temped so far this cycle (I just plain forgot). Nor am I running the clomid race (I didn't expect to get my period, so I didn't have a prescription). Please allow me to tell you that I feel good about this. I feel no pressure, I have no expectations. I am going to just ride this cycle out, even if it means ending it with provera in a month and 21 days time (the day of our RE appointment.) I am totally obsessive, so I will not be abandoning the blog, and IF will still rank at the top of my things that I think about when I should be working list.
2. A friend exclaimed how wonderful it is that I spontaneoulsy bled down below. Like that perhaps this was signaling that my body was getting back to "normal". Though I appreciate the support she thinks she is giving me in this instant, I can't help but think two things. One, that it is most unlikely that my body will every act normally when i comes to all things hormonal and reproductive. And second, that getting my period without popping pesky provera really only indicated to me that I have failed again. Menstruation=Not Pregnant. (A simple equation really.)
3. I called the clinic where I have my October 26 RE appointment (It's next month! Finally! I can say next month! Can we all believe it?) In my previous post I noted how my gyn thought I should call to confirm becasue she wasn't too certain about the RE still being around. THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS PEOPLE. We are still on. Thank he (or she) who is great up above. For two and a half weeks I tried not to think of the possibility of having to go to the bottom of another waiting list, and let me tell you it was very difficult to process. I am sighing in relief.
4. I am hoping The C will make another donation to the people who analyse sperm in the next week or so. Seeing as I am going to lay low for the meantime, it will give us some time to focus on him, and find an approprite specialist in that area. Hopefully this will help move things along more easily when we meet with the RE.
And so, ladies (and gent! I see a gentleman stopped in to say hi on my blog!) I will leave you for this evening. I hope some of you will return to me. (O stats, thou art pitiful.) And of course I am always here for you.


flygirl said...

Your vacation sounds like my dream holiday. So glad you had fun. Plus it just sounded so nice how you talked about reconnecting with C.

Good on you!

Krista said...

That vacation, and the reconnection with your husband sounds heavenly. Makes me want to go on vacation. like. right. now.

Jennie said...

Welcome back! Your trip sounded amazing. I'm so J E A L O U S !!!

Did you ever think getting your period would be so bittersweet? Sorry that cycle didn't work out, but yeah for the fact that it ended on it's own. From my own past experience I know that's a big deal. Hope the next cycle goes well for you and it's stress free until your long awaited appt. with the R.E.

Meg said...

HI Ms C. - -very jealous of your trip.. I also never did the "live in London" thing... though I figure its never too late if I was that way inlined.

Glad to have you back. :)

Erin said...

Welcome back--your vacation sounded fantastic! Now I want one.

I hope that October gets here quickly so that you can have that RE appt!

Em said...

Glad you enjoyed London. I am about to leave it for my hometown of Melbourne, Australia after six years.

My Reality said...

I missed you!

Welcome home and I am glad you and C had a great trip!

Nico said...

Congrats on the natural period, I think it is a good sign, although obviously not what you actually want.

Your vacation sounds totally divine!

Watson said...

Hey welcome back! We missed you!

It sounds like your trip was wonderful and just a perfect respite from all things work and IF-related.

And I am SO jealous you actually had sex just to have sex, just for the fun of, what a concept?!?

VanillaDreams said...

Ha! I can actually say that I DID the "Live in London Thing"!! HURRAH!!!! ;)

Yes, from 2000 to 2001 I lived in London and worked and traveled with two of my girlfriends.

We had a TEENY TINY studio flat in NW2 of London...not to far from central London, in a very dodgy are called Willesden Green. Let me stress the "dodginess" of this location. LOL, we did not feel safe wandering our neighbourhood at night, that's for sure!!!! ;P

Other than the dodginess though, we all loved it and it was an amazing experience. I'm so glad I lived and traveled in Europe before I got married. I love London, it really is a fantastic city, so many cool things to do, and so many things I miss! I can't wait to go back there someday and show my husband around the city. I really do miss it!!

Your trip sounds awesome though, and welcome back!

Congrats on being a "spontaneous bleeder" -- I myself would also be rather excited were that ever to happen to me. Although I second the sucky part of that being that bleeding = not pregnant.

Anyway, look forward to hearing more updates from you in the days/weeks to come, and seeing yoru comments around the Bloggy world.

All the best,

Ellen K. said...

You sound like you're in a great mood, despite AF. I'm jealous. I have only spent 3 days in London and absolutely loved it. And your cruise! How nice is that?!

Angie said...

Sounds like a great vacation!

TeamWinks said...

We're all so glad you're back! We'll both have to keep each other company until October (that's when my lap/hyst is.) Lord,knows we could all use distraction during our waiting times, and thankfully we have others blogs to read to keep us busy. :-)

mandolyn said...

We missed you!

A natural period? I'll give Flo a little applause.

Glad you had such a great time!

Ella said...

Welcome back. I'm glad you enjoyed, and had amazing reconection time with the Mister. I too am a Londophile and regret never having lived there. It's an amazing city and if I could, i'd run away with my hubby and set up camp there. Yes, unfortunatelyy real, red bleeding = not pregnant, but it's better than not bleeding and then wondering what the f*ck that means. for me, not bleeding doesn't nec. mean preggo, it could mean scarring, thin lining, etc. So bleeding + chance to start a new cycle - woo hoo, right. October will be here befoer you know it.