HAVE YOU MISSED ME?

Have you? I doubt it. My stats certainly suck the big one. But no wonder... the same post has been at the top of the page for, like, two and a half weeks. Hark, friends, I have returned. And I am here to post. (So come visit! Stay a while. Here, have some decaf.)
I've been home for four days, and am trying to get everything back to normal (ie: reading my 183 emails and linstening to my 572 voice mails.) I have gone through all your blogs, and have done my best to catch up on everything that has gone on while I was away. I haven't commented much, but people, I have been reading. I have missed you all, and will be back a-commenting pronto, I promise.
Do any of you want to hear about my trip? Probably not, so I will give you a short round up. The C and I cruised to Ireland, Scotland, Norway, Holland, Belgium and France. The ship was wonderful, and we were absolutely pampered. We ate too much, drank way too much, and most of all spent 14 uninterrupted days with each other. We managed to get some relaxation in, despite the heavy touring schedule. And even though we are so accutely aware that our chances of making a baby the old fashioned way are, like, nil, we had boat loads of amazing, romantic, passionate sex. We reconnected on every level, and I was reminded time and time again why we chose to spend our lives together, and that it were the two of us against the world, the is no doubt that we would prevail. Because together we are awesome. I don;t know if I've ever written this here, but I love my husband so, so much. There is nothing in this world great enough to even begin to help quantify the amount.
Right, right. I've gone all gooey in the brain. (I haven't even sworn yet in this post.)
After the cruise we spent three days in London. Though definately not the most beautiful city in the world, it is certainly one of my favorites to visit and just "be" in. I have travelled alot in my life, and there are few places that I have been able to see myself live in, but London is one of them. (I'm a big city person, no doubt about it.)
My motto in life is to live all you can so that you have no regrets. Believe me, I stick by this very closely. There are a handful of things that I have done in my life that others would cetainly consider regrettable, believe you me. (I will save that post for a time when I have nothing else to write about. That time will hopefully never come.) In all those times my motto has prevailed, and so to date (which is 31 years, 8 months and 12 days of my life,) I harbour no regrets. Except one: that I never lived in London in my 20s. Any of you Lononers out there? You are some fortunate folk. The ship has sailed on my living there, but I love to visit often and pretend that I fit in. (Hey, someone even stoped me on the street to ask me for directions! How's about that!) What does this have to do with anything? (Brain=goo, can't stay on topic...) Oh ya: London provided an excellent finish to our journey.
'Ms. C,' you all are thinking, 'this ain't no travel log! You are supposed to be talking about IF!'
Indeed, 'tis true. So enough about the trip and back to my ranting about my disfunctional ovaries, and The C's fucked up sperm. Below is a summary of the goings on in that area. (In list form of course! I love the list.)
1. Today is CD6. I got my period spontaneously for the first time since going off the pill 13 months ago. Full on, people. A real period. Red bloody stuff, not just some brown yucky spotting. Incredible, really. My previous cycle was only 38 days. I temped till CD 26, and then let it all go becasue I was away. And I have not temped so far this cycle (I just plain forgot). Nor am I running the clomid race (I didn't expect to get my period, so I didn't have a prescription). Please allow me to tell you that I feel good about this. I feel no pressure, I have no expectations. I am going to just ride this cycle out, even if it means ending it with provera in a month and 21 days time (the day of our RE appointment.) I am totally obsessive, so I will not be abandoning the blog, and IF will still rank at the top of my things that I think about when I should be working list.
2. A friend exclaimed how wonderful it is that I spontaneoulsy bled down below. Like that perhaps this was signaling that my body was getting back to "normal". Though I appreciate the support she thinks she is giving me in this instant, I can't help but think two things. One, that it is most unlikely that my body will every act normally when i comes to all things hormonal and reproductive. And second, that getting my period without popping pesky provera really only indicated to me that I have failed again. Menstruation=Not Pregnant. (A simple equation really.)
3. I called the clinic where I have my October 26 RE appointment (It's next month! Finally! I can say next month! Can we all believe it?) In my previous post I noted how my gyn thought I should call to confirm becasue she wasn't too certain about the RE still being around. THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS PEOPLE. We are still on. Thank he (or she) who is great up above. For two and a half weeks I tried not to think of the possibility of having to go to the bottom of another waiting list, and let me tell you it was very difficult to process. I am sighing in relief.
4. I am hoping The C will make another donation to the people who analyse sperm in the next week or so. Seeing as I am going to lay low for the meantime, it will give us some time to focus on him, and find an approprite specialist in that area. Hopefully this will help move things along more easily when we meet with the RE.
And so, ladies (and gent! I see a gentleman stopped in to say hi on my blog!) I will leave you for this evening. I hope some of you will return to me. (O stats, thou art pitiful.) And of course I am always here for you.