Tuesday, October 05, 2010


This cycle has been surreal.

Scratch that. Life has been surreal since we returned from vacation at the end of August.

I feel that I have been running at top speed, unable to catch my breath, for the last 5 weeks. There have been so many changes: Sacha going to preschool 3 days a week, deciding to take on the task of working in my family business, trying to decide what to do with my own business, and more.

I thought I would cycle the moment we landed back in Canada, but while we were away I kept "forgetting" to take my Provera. And the same thing kept happening when we got home. It was (so surprisingly!) the last thing on my mind.

One day I just bit the bullet (and swallowed the pill), and here we are.

Femara- check!
Puregon- check!
Ovidrel- check!
Appointment tomorrow at 7am for sperm donation and IUI- you betcha.

Cycling has been different this time. I just don't have the time and brain power to devote to the worry and the stress. I get enough of that in other walks of life. Also, while secondary IF is painful, I am realizing that having Sacha is cushioning the blow somewhat.

I had the nanny stay late this evening so that The C and I could go for dinner. It seems that we are both pretty excited. I don't know why. I mean I know why, but we have never really sat down before and IUI and had a discussion that included the words hope or excited or what colour will we paint the room.

I know that nothing I think or do now (or tomorrow, or any day from now if an embryo decides to implant itself in my uterus) can change what happens.

Living in the moment, I am.

(For I am certain that this mild euphoria will fade swiftly during the 2WW...)


BigP's Heather said...

I hope it goes smoothly today and you have a quick 2WW with awesome results!!!

robin said...

You sound amazingly grounded -- waaay different than the anxiety of a few months ago. I'm sure it'll still be tough to wait it out, but I'm getting the feeling there's some magic afoot.

Thinking of you & hoping hoping hoping for the best!

sky girl said...

Hope today went well. Check in often eh?

TeamWinks said...

Sorry for my delay in commenting. I'm still figuring out google reader and lamenting bloglines loss. :-( Hope things are super successful!!!