Friday, April 27, 2007

OK, CAN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING NEGATIVE

I sorta promised you a post cleansing all my negative thoughts. But that was over a week ago. Seeing as I'm really trying to focus on the positive, I have think that I have let those thoughts flee my mind.

Those of you who know me in real life are saying to yourselves "who is this chick and what have you done with the real Ms. C?!" I assure you it's me. I am here. I'm just trying to have a better outlook on this all. I know it's easier to have this frame of mind while actively cycling. Check back on me next time this week when I will be beginning my two week wait. (Then we'll see how macho I am about this positivity shit...)

So let's talk about good stuff...

First on the agenda: Me! Yesterday's CD11 appointment showed 4 lurvley follies ranging from 11-15 mm. No matter what my dosage of Pur.egon is, it really seems that slow and steady wins the race with me. This cycle I am on 40 IU (5 clicks), and it appears that the follies are growing at the same rate as when I did 20 IU (2 clicks!) my first cycle. I'm not complaining, all is fine as long as I see growth.

I am a tad anxious about the IUI. There are three things that are causing my anxiety. First: fear of the unknown. This is the first time that we are doing an IUI (even though this is our third injectables cycle). Thanks to you guys I know what to expect in terms of the procedure, but I don't know how I'm going to feel (physically and emotionally.) Second is that once again it is The C's "busy season" at work. (The busy season comes around twice a year and lasts for 2 months or so each time. You may recall this issue when I was discussing it in relation to our first RE appointment that fell in October's bus season.) The point: The C will have to take time off work to produce his sample, and, as I want him there when we are doing the IUI, he wll have to return to the clinic a bit later. Other than it is almost physically imposible to have time off work at this time of year, the person who he has to ask time off from is my father. Who tends to freak when anyone takes time off at this time of year. And third: Compounding this issue is that, of course (because of my slow ovaries), we don't know what day the IUI will be.

Despite these anxieties, I am trying to not let this get me down. Focus on the positive: We will have a baby.

Oh wait! I was first on the agenda! Which means that there must be other things my Good Stuff Agenda for April 27, 2007. Yes! Yes! My blogroll.

When I started blogging I had one list of blogs that I read, and few were of pregnant women, and none had given birth. It is amazing to me that over the past 11 months how many names I have had to move to my other categories. Today let's celebrate Karen, Watson and Lut who I have made the migration to On Their Way. I am so thrilled for you ladies. When I read about your positives my tears of joy came out to play. I felt like couldn't be happier than if they were my own positives. Also moving are Jenny and Flygirl who have their little girls at home with them. I can't believe how time flies. Seeing them overcome their IF and deliver their babies definately keeps my hope alive. My heart just swells when I click over to their sites.

I don't think this post would be complete without me mentioning my friend Shlomit. She wrote this week about not knowing how she will be able to move to life beyond the news of her last negative test. I have no wise words to you, Shlomit, other to tell you that I think of you often and wish you comfort and peace as you move forward.

And of course: positive thoughts to the rest of you. Because, the way I'm looking at it, thinking positively certainly can't hurt.

14 comments:

sariel & shlomit said...

Wow! love the positivity!! i wish i was there to attend your cycle monitoring appts with you...i'm cheering you on BIG TIME!!!

As for the shout out...thanks. G-d I wish you were moving me on your blog roll to "On their way" but apparently this is my life. Please know that I'm feeling your love everyday....it's part of what helps keep me going!

Hope things go smoothly with the C-man and the Boss man (aka Dad)....that's a tough bind...but you're right, the C should be there, holding your hand, making it all just a teensy bit more personal...oh, and don't forget to have a fullish bladder!

loads of love to you both and a warm and wonderful shabbat...
peace
shlomit

Somewhat Ordinary said...

"When you wholeheartedly adopt a 'with all your heart' attitude and go out with the positive principle, you can do incredible things" Norman Vincent Peale

Wishing you all the best on the IUI!!

Dianne/Flutter said...

My only advice is breathe during the procedure :). Praying for you and hoping it all works out. Hey, it is your Dad, maybe you could tell him it is for a good cause?

Ann said...

I have been forced into limbo this cycle, so I will live vicariously through you and your follies. Go, follies, go! (And find a nice sperm to settle down with, too.)

Krista said...

I think emotionally it won't be too tough (I didn't find the actual procedure tough emotionally) but I was very glad my husband was there. I think I would have been sad to think we could conceive and he wasn't even there. So somehow, you have to deal with the dad/boss issue.

Wishing you the best. Hoping in a month I am getting to move you the moving on side of my blogroll!!

Watson said...

Ms. C,

I am so digging your positive attitude, keep it up girl!

I know you'll do just fine with the IUI...the procedure itself is easy peasy, and luckily Mr. C's role is rather...limited. (And I don't mean that in a bad way!)

By that I mean once he produces his sample, you can really take care of the rest with dr.

The IUI is a lot less invasive than IVF, for several of mine I drove myself (with the husband's spermies safely tucked away in my bra!) to the doctor's and home again, with no problems.

It's not ideal, but if he has to be at work you can work around this so it doesn't cause you any additional stress.

I am keeping everything crossed that this works for you guys. Keep us posted!

(And thanks for the shout-out, I still can't believe I'm moving to the 'other' side of blogrolls, still so weird...)

XOXO

Lut C. said...

Good luck with the IUI. Hopefully it will go smoothly.

Thanks for the shout out and the positive thoughts. :-)

Flygirl said...

I found the first week of the 2ww to be a snap because I knew that there would be no news. The second week was pretty difficult though. I didn't have Frenchie there for the actual IUI and it was odd to lay there afterwards. But I also found the wherewithall to offer my wishes and prayers up to whoever is listening.

How did I feel afterwards? Physically, the ovidrel made me feel very tender and it was very important to take it easy. Arrange for takeout or something. Emotionally, I felt okay but that's too difficult to say how you'll feel. You sound so positive already. Keep it up!

I'll be thinking of you Ms. C and hoping that you get to make the migration on all sorts of blogrolls.

Flygirl said...

PS- I didn't have to have a full bladder at all but maybe your clinic is different?

My Reality said...

I have figure out how to a blogroll on my blog, but how in the world do you make categories??

I am glad the follies are growing slow and steady, that is the way they should be growing.

My IUI's were always a piece of cake. The first one was the worst because I didn't know what to expect. I am sure your Dad will cut you some slack on The C taking a little time off, it is for a good cause!

Aurelia said...

I'm glad you are feeling positive, since really, it can't hurt, and why not enjoy the feeling while it lasts?

And I do agree, let your Dad know, maybe he'll be kind if he thinks he'll get a grandchild out of it?

TeamWinks said...

Emotionally after the IUI, I was happy. It was forward progress. I knew that sperm and egg were at least in the same area, and that's more than I could say before. Hang in there, and we're all back here cheering you on!

Samantha said...

Never had an IUI, as I moved straight from timed to IVF, but from what I understand, it's pretty straight forward. Wishing you luck and keep up the positive attitude!

Carrie said...

This is a lovely post. It's nice to remind ourselves that, for many, the ultimate goal is achieved.

Hope this cycle takes you to ' on their way'