SEXPECTATIONS

Nope, that is no typo mes amis! Sexpectations are what you get when you add sex and expectations. Allow me to recount the events of the past 36 hours.

hCG shot-check!
sex at 9:30 pm-check!
burst into tears in middle of sex because omg it is so weird to have sex thinking that a doctor is going to go up my vagina to check out the validity of the activity-check!
uncomfortable post coital test at 9:30 the next morning-check!
lots of sperm swimming around in cervical mucous (which I got to see in the microscope, omg that's so cool!)-check!
sent home to have sex in order to get pregnant-check!
WHOA NELLY!!

Look, I was pleased as punch that we were getting this opportunity to try to have sex in order to conceive. But... I can't seem to get all this stuff about the ridiculousness of the PCT out of my head. Yes, it was neat-o to see all the sperm in the microscope, but I was left with the feeling that these were the sperm that HADN'T swum up my cervix, and how were we to know based on the amount outside my cervix how many sperm actually HAD made their journey upwards. (See Thalia, I am TOTALLY getting it.)

Upon showing me the results my doctor smiled at me and told me* to go home and have sex last night and this morning. I asked him point blank if doing an IUI would increase my chances this cycle even 1%. He said no. I said: really? He said no, all looked good. Seeing as our issue is me ovulating (which it appears we have taken care of with assorted hormonal cocktails), he doens't see why we shouldn't conceive this cycle. He seemed very positive, and shook my hand and sent me on my way to procreate.

You may be wondering why I didn't push the IUI issue further. Here's why: before leaving for work The C and I had a converstion wherein he told me that he would like to have a go at it naturally. Until now he had just gone with the flow, and never made to many demands. I felt that I should at least give him this.

That was until about noon yesterday when I started having a mild panic attack that I didn't push for an IUI hard enough. I called The C and he heard my panic. I told him that if it really mattered to him I would leave this alone. He said that yes it mattered, but my peace of mind also mattered, so I should call the clinic to talk about this one more time. Except that I didn't want to call the clinic. So he told me he would.

By four o'clock we hadn't heard back from the clinic, so I called and left a voicemail. I didn't hear back from the nurse until this morning, so it's all moot now. (The IUI would have been done at 9:00 am this morning.) She assured me that the doctor really felt this was the way to go. Well it was too late now anyways...

And thus we are left with sexpectations. We did the dirty last night, and again this morning. I feel nothing in terms of ovulation, but I'm not too sure what I should be feeling. It is probably that I have only ovulated a handful of times in my entire life, so this is pretty foreign to me.

What's next? The 2ww of course!

In two weeks my clinic will be closed for two weeks. I am left to my own devices to find out if I am pregnant. No beta for me. My nurse assured me that seeing as I will have ovulated I will definately get my period if I am not pregnant. So I won't be left with any doubts. Being the planner-aheader that I am, I asked her this morning when we spoke if the doctor could set me up with some BCPs should my period come, and she suggested waiting the weeks that they are closed to give my ovaries a rest. Which means that the earliest I will be able to cycle again is at the very end of January.

I certainly don't want to go writing this cycle off yet (I think I will give myself 12 days till I test), so I will save the reasons why a February cycle is not so good for me until I have to think about it.

In the meantime, I am trying to stock up on ideas to carry me through the next two weeks. Here is my list:
1. Finally get to the 5 things about me tag
2. Also get to Mel's 2007 tag
3. Plan our family Chanukah party
4. Buy Chanukah gifts for my nieces, Christmas gifts for The C's neices
5. Bake cookies
6. Try out mini cake pan that I bought on Thanksgiving
7. Make soaps from M.artha St.ewart's Holiday craft book
8. Stay way on top of my work (which I am usually only semi-on top of)
9. Unpack 3 boxes of stuff that are in my spare room
10. Re-learn to knit, and make a scarf that goes with my new jacket (in pink)
11. Worry (read:obsess) about how the holidays (and my birthday on the 26th) will affect me if I get the non-desired result on the 22nd.

I'm certain I can take care of #11, and pretty sure I will get to 1 &2. If any of the others in between happen, you will be the first to know!