ON THE EVE OF IUI 2 (FOR #2)

This cycle has been surreal.

Scratch that. Life has been surreal since we returned from vacation at the end of August.

I feel that I have been running at top speed, unable to catch my breath, for the last 5 weeks. There have been so many changes: Sacha going to preschool 3 days a week, deciding to take on the task of working in my family business, trying to decide what to do with my own business, and more.

I thought I would cycle the moment we landed back in Canada, but while we were away I kept "forgetting" to take my Provera. And the same thing kept happening when we got home. It was (so surprisingly!) the last thing on my mind.

One day I just bit the bullet (and swallowed the pill), and here we are.

Femara- check!
Puregon- check!
Ovidrel- check!
Appointment tomorrow at 7am for sperm donation and IUI- you betcha.

Cycling has been different this time. I just don't have the time and brain power to devote to the worry and the stress. I get enough of that in other walks of life. Also, while secondary IF is painful, I am realizing that having Sacha is cushioning the blow somewhat.

I had the nanny stay late this evening so that The C and I could go for dinner. It seems that we are both pretty excited. I don't know why. I mean I know why, but we have never really sat down before and IUI and had a discussion that included the words hope or excited or what colour will we paint the room.

I know that nothing I think or do now (or tomorrow, or any day from now if an embryo decides to implant itself in my uterus) can change what happens.

Living in the moment, I am.

(For I am certain that this mild euphoria will fade swiftly during the 2WW...)