tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post8171866500258726180..comments2023-10-05T09:02:12.228-04:00Comments on it could take 3 months: STIRRING THE POT A BIT TOO MUCHms. chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02369055212101853503noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-9489586285859874882007-02-11T10:46:00.000-05:002007-02-11T10:46:00.000-05:00Okay, seriously, your husband needs to calm down a...Okay, seriously, your husband needs to calm down a little. What's unromantic about conceiving in stirrups? <BR/><BR/>You know what? I can't think of anything MORE romantic than two people who are so committed to building a family together that they are willing to go through the pain, discomfort, intrusion, and general inconvenience of fertility treatment. I'm dead serious. <BR/><BR/>Here's the thing.... if you had an IUI, that doesn't guarantee conception took place in stirrups rather than in the bedroom. Consider this: <BR/>If you take a trigger shot on a Sunday (just for the sake of argument) and have sex that night (as is usually recommended) and have an IUI 36 hours later on Tuesday morning and then have more sex that night, how do you know that the IUI is what did the trick if you get pregnant that cycle? For all you know, having sex on trigger night is what worked! What the IUI does is give you another chance, an extra boost, and adds a little insurance. Since the IUI itself isn't terribly expensive (most monitoring appointments at my clinic are more expensive than the IUI appointment), there's really not a lot to lose by doing it.<BR/><BR/>Is your husband right that odds are given enough time and opportunity you'll probably conceive on your own? Sure. But does that mean you shouldn't help it along a little? Gah.<BR/><BR/>When I read posts like these, I usually ask my husband about his feelings on the matter. Does it make him feel less manly to do an IUI? Nope. He says he has plenty of other things to make him feel less manly, that he doesn't need a silly IUI to help it along. ;) Then again, my husband is a pharmacist and annoyingly clinical and practical about a lot of this infertility stuff. He never takes it personally and he rarely gets emotional about it. Still, I know he'd be honest with me if asked point blank whether doing the IUI makes him feel less capable.Ms. Perkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06923832430040384294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-53098359596438311112007-02-10T10:52:00.000-05:002007-02-10T10:52:00.000-05:00My husband went thru something similar. Believed ...My husband went thru something similar. Believed since our problem was that I didn't ovulate, it was all fixed by making me ovulate.<BR/><BR/>He has grown as much as I have. But, he HAD to do the three sex with med cycles. And he had to see how much this was effecting me, before he got to the point of last Thursday.<BR/><BR/>When I told him that our last cycle ended in another BFN, he said "Well, next month we will do the IUI. And it will be OK."<BR/><BR/>So, ultimately, your husband isn't a bad person. He is just a man. <BR/><BR/>And comments don't stop because a man made a comment, most of us have a man that isn't perfect, but is as close to perfect as we can take or want.Esperanzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14841585672805438897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-82986541042421538552007-02-09T17:47:00.000-05:002007-02-09T17:47:00.000-05:00I keep meaning to comment on your blog ... hello. ...I keep meaning to comment on your blog ... hello. I'm glad you and your husband got to the compromise phase. <BR/><BR/>I missed the post down a bit about men and Clomid. I can share our experiences if you want to e-mail me ... amy bds @ yahoo<BR/><BR/>I loved your post on PCOS - As a fellow PCOSer, I've felt that way many times. Other than the lack of ovulation, I think I hate the mustache the most.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09271838294862901970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-72762284919847481202007-02-09T17:15:00.000-05:002007-02-09T17:15:00.000-05:00Well, we are biased.Well, we are biased.Lut C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03893061829410958985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-58020182830777689382007-02-09T15:37:00.000-05:002007-02-09T15:37:00.000-05:00Don't conversations like that make you just want t...Don't conversations like that make you just want to shake him and say "I can't read your mind - you must open your mouth to speak!" Manly pulls that crap too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-28739535237610602032007-02-09T11:58:00.000-05:002007-02-09T11:58:00.000-05:00Infertility is tough on everybody that it touches....Infertility is tough on everybody that it touches. It's especially tough on a marriage. Glad you two found a way to work things out.<BR/><BR/>I also agree with KD's post.TeamWinkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00750935087962085588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-84354203990179689652007-02-09T11:35:00.000-05:002007-02-09T11:35:00.000-05:00I don't think he sounds like as asshole. I just th...I don't think he sounds like as asshole. I just think men have totally different take on this whole thing then we do. After 2 years of trying it took a zero sperm count for my husband to stand and take notice. It sucks that is what did it for him, but imagine if he got the zero count and still thought we would get pregnant on our own.<BR/><BR/>Honestly I think your husband is just trying to look out for you. He wants the best and doesn't want to see the pain a failed IUI would cause. It sounds like he will be ready soon though (and who knows maybe you won't need the IUI)!Somewhat Ordinaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09701338805685025735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-55841022429846152292007-02-09T11:23:00.000-05:002007-02-09T11:23:00.000-05:00Sounds like you have a great hubby! :)I think it j...Sounds like you have a great hubby! :)<BR/><BR/>I think it just takes men a little longer to give up on the "ideal" way to conceive a child. I know that my hubby certainly took his sweet time getting there. The good news, at least as I have found, is that once they do arrive on the same page, there is no waffling at all. It is full speed ahead.<BR/><BR/>Hopefully, hubby's plan will work and there won't need to be a plan B...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-63879581519128373462007-02-09T09:13:00.000-05:002007-02-09T09:13:00.000-05:00I don't think he sounds like an asshole either - t...I don't think he sounds like an asshole either - that's very much the reaction my husband had when we first started talking about going a little more assisted than just BBT's & timed intercourse.<BR/><BR/>I think because we women are the ones doing the bulk of the testing and the meds, it's much easier for us to see the next step as a logical progression... not to mention that using something other than sex to get pregnant is a very touchy subject for most men. <BR/><BR/>I'm glad that you two were able to discuss and compromise, and very glad that your blog was able to start some communication between the two of you so that you're at least seeing the other's view also. Hopefully, that will help make the IF journey a little easier on your marriage. IF is hell on a person, and it's really rough on a marriage.~rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04368972584277163688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-61596291352235996782007-02-09T08:12:00.000-05:002007-02-09T08:12:00.000-05:00Sorry about the fight but I'm glad that you two ar...Sorry about the fight but I'm glad that you two are on the same page now.<BR/><BR/>IF sucks all around. Marriage and communication are hard enough withouth throwing IF into the mix.<BR/><BR/>I wish you two the best of luck on this cycle!BigP's Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07124157582246972372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-63925992850158888712007-02-08T21:46:00.000-05:002007-02-08T21:46:00.000-05:00i'm very impressed with you and the c and i love t...i'm very impressed with you and the c and i love that the blog helped pave the way....compromise sometimes means you both aren't all that thrilled...or maybe one of you is and one isn't...it just sucks sometimes...but i will stand by what i said that it is soooo important that you are both in step as much as possible...and i would never let the c's reactions stop me from commenting...er, i think you know me...and so does he for that matter!!<BR/><BR/>he is right, there is a chance...and next time (puh, puh, puh, please G-d there's no next time!!) you'll do iui and regular shtupping...i know it's frustrating to feel like you're not maximizing your chances...you'll get there, my dear...i have great confidence in your womb!!!<BR/><BR/>peace<BR/>shlomitAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-73791929374917405622007-02-08T20:10:00.000-05:002007-02-08T20:10:00.000-05:00I don't think men understand infertility blogging ...I don't think men understand infertility blogging (Smarshy excepted). My husband knows about my blog, knows the address, and never reads it unless I sit down and say "I want you to read this". I also think that the C sounds very much like, well, a man. There's not enough gender equality in the world to make a man realize that having a lower sperm count doesn't make him less of a man. I think testosterone makes it impossible for them to see that it's not a reflection on their masculinity.<BR/><BR/>Talking about IF is just as hard as going through it--it's just such a heartfelt issue. It sounds like you had a good conversation about it.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04077459860855798660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29619227.post-9650879453702503162007-02-08T18:38:00.000-05:002007-02-08T18:38:00.000-05:00MNSHO: I don't think your husband sounds like an a...MNSHO: I don't think your husband sounds like an asshole at all. I think he sounds like a man who is feeling like slightly less of a man if it takes a turkey baster to impregnate his wife. For a long time my own hubby viewed our IF issues as my problem because he couldn't 'fess up to his part in this process. It takes them a little longer than it does us to face the music about what may be necessary to get pregnant.<BR/><BR/>And, yes, trying on your own may EVENTUALLY get you pregnant, but how long are you willing to wait? How many BFNs are your willing to see each month? He needs to get over the idea that an IUI makes some kind of statement about his virility and get into the idea that it may very well bring a pregnancy into your lives very soon.<BR/><BR/>If I can get over my PCOS and all the very non-feminine side effects it puts on me, he can get over the turkey baster.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com